Food For Thought - Installment II: Does Cheese Have it in For Canada?

So the other day I wrote a list of cheeses I needed for a party I was having and I thought I saw something stick out at me from the list.

Brie
Light Cheeze Whiz
Havarti
Medium Cheddar

You may not see it so I will bold the letters that stuck out at me from my cheese list.

Brie
Light Cheeze Whiz
Havarti
Medium Cheddar

Of course you could spell the word from those letters but it struck me as odd, is there some kind of cheesy conspiracy to cause our weather to be bad, so bad we may call it a 'Blizzard'?

So I did some investigation into cheese, and of course as I suspected cheese was popularized in Europe and many gourmet cheeses are still produced in France and Italy.

Then I checked who would gain if Edmonton would fall into blizzard like conditions. It is clearly the European Union who would achieve two goals. Temporarily shutting down the Albertan Oilsands as well as using the blizzard as further evidence of global climate change. quadriplegic

So while I don't know the how, I am sure that the EU is using cheese in a plot to take down Alberta.

Food for thought.

Exploding Gorillas?

So I overheard a couple talking on the bus about how some gorillas in Afghanistan were blowing up school and zoo's by exploding randomly. I am trying to get to the bottom of this mystery, though considering we still do not have answers for spontaneous human combustion it will take time to determine the cause of random gorilla exposions, though there is a pattern as current data shows the explosions happen every third hour on the hour every second Tuesday during the months that have 31 calendar days.

The first theory I have is that gorillas in Afganistan are eating too high a quantity of red beans. Red beans are well known for their explosive properties and therefore excessive consumption could lead to massive explosions.

The second theory I have is that gorillas are actually CIA operative that were former cast members of Battlestar Galactica, and have all been implanted with GPS homing devices that are set to explode at set times and dates based on the second chromosome sequence in their DNA in conjunction with the cycles of the moon.

The third theory I have is that I am crazy, and I watch too much Glenn Beck. Glenn Beck teaches me that drawing diagrams and misspelling words can make things true. Therefore it is my theory that my diagrams on this matter are actually me divining the words of Glenn Beck.

The last theory I have is that it is a massive conspiracy by both the government and the shadow government who are also in league with the insurance companies and the war machine. The conspiracy is perpetuated with the goal of getting us to ignore the end of the earth in 2012.

Thoughts?